I don t deserve an angel
by Fruitcakenuts
Summary: Bella Swan is a orphan thanks to the Volturri and is forced to spy on the Cullens.But what will happen when Bella and Edward develope deep feelings for each other,and Edward finds out Bella s dark secret . Does love really conquer all?R&R summary sucks
1. Chapter 1

I'll never forget that day. The day that changed my insignificant life forever. The day I was forced to serve them , to adore them , to follow their orders no matter what … the day mei freedom was ripped from me leaving me alone and vulnerable .The day they murdered my parents and kept me because they were intrigued with my "gift". But this gift had only led me to this fate . To the Volturri .

My parents were so looking forward to this vacation. Italy , travelling almost all across the world for one week in the amazing city – Volterra.

They had gotten the tickets from some agency , they were marvelling at all the statues and the ruins , even talked about doing this every year .

Little did they know it would be their last vacation. My momto Renee – is … had been my best friend and an unpredictable cook , I could talk hours about her but it's too painful to think of her . My father Charlie was a quiet but nice person he was a chief of our hometown . He sometimes took me to his work - on slow days though , of course . He had been so fond of me always doing his best to keep me happy , make me smile and protect me – but on that day he couldn´t .

_His eyes were red and very intimidating, he had long and white hair , and his skin looked so bristle and yet hard . _

_He took my hand in his and as he did he closed his eyes . " Mhm how very exactly are you doing to keep me out of your intriguing and confusing mind dear Isabella?"_

_I remember looking at my father´s corpse .. then my mothers face looking at me wide eyed._

" _Nobody will save you now girl . You answer right now !! " a threating voice said_

" _Silence Caius ! Can´t you see you are scaring our little lady ?!" The one naimed Caius glared at me an I found myself trembling ; no shaking witrh fear . " Now Now little one don´t you know that you are blocking me ?"_

_I shook my head and said instead " Don´t hurt my mommy …"_

"_I will spare your life if you choose to join us after your change into a newborn my dear . Come now you can make your mommy very proud . Either way you will day but if you choose to join us you may be eighteen forever."_

_I was trembling so badly he understood my tremor as a yes._

" _Heidi take her to one of our guest rooms we have a new family member ."_

" _Yes master .."_

_My mother started sobbing " No, no not my baby don't hurt my baby … please no."_

_The blonde named Heidi took me up into her arms – they were so cold . Then she started walking away from my mommy_

" _mommy "_

" _I love you honey .. I always will never forget that you are my life ."_

" _I love you mommy"_

_When H__eidi had taken me through the doors the red eyed guards closed the door but before I was out of ear-shot I heard a ear piercing scream that quickly died down ._

_I started crying on the blond shoulder .. I _was all Alone .

I woke up drenched in sweat, tears coming down my cheeks wishing that my nightmare was just that a nightmare and not my past .

"it's okay it's okay it was just a dream " Heidi my mother for all intents and purposes cooed.

" No it wasn't it really did happen " I choked, really sobbing now.

" I'm so sorry baby .. so sorry . " I flinched when she called me baby my mother used to say that - such a terrible reminder.

She either was oblivious to my reaction or ignored it she patted my arm and said " Aro wants to see you he has a task for you and only you ."

After showering I looked into the mirror , my reflection although still looked like a mess.

My long brown hair wasn't curly but shaggy . My brown eyes were red from stress and crying and my expression was worn it felt like I was wearing a mask.

" Well this is as good as it's gonna get." I sighed and went to my dresser picking out a blue sweater and grey slacks. I doodled while drying my hair debating if I should just say aro to ask someone else to do the task .

" Hurry up " Felix bellowed from the hallway making me jump in the process. " Felix be yourself somewhere else."

" I would but this is just so much more entertaining…."- he stopped when I threw the door open and glared at him" wow you sure look hot , but what's up with the waterworks ?"

"Non of your business , now back off " I growled , moving past him down the ancient hallway.

I suddenly felt his arm wrap around my shoulders.

" Why so charming this morning " he teased his cold breath tickling my ear.I rolled my eyes ever since my recent ( as in a few months ago ) Felix had began to stalk me , teasing and flirting with me .I didn't even know why he even bothered , but right now I simply ignored him till I was right in front of the doors of the conference room ,the door slightly cracked, I heard hushed voices on the other side making my insides shiver and crumple up . " Go back to Gianna I'm sure she misses you …"

" You will come to your senses one day , and when that day comes i´ll be right here for you.

Remember i´ll always be waiting in your shadows .. waiting " he threatened.

And then he was gone . I just simply shook the feeling of dread off and went trough the grand doors. I more or less burst through the door and saw Aro and Marcus sitting next to each other , Aro looked annoyed while macius looked his usuall self – impassive.

" I was told you wanted to talk to me "

They both looked up macius´s eyes glinted and Aro smiled brightly

" Ah my dear .. yes I have a task for you and only you can do it . Becausse of your gift. I need you to go to Forks and spy on a family . They are porwerful but they won´t harm you dear. They are what you would call them vegetarians."

" Really " I blurted" I didn´t een know vampires like them existed , … impressive "

Marcus chuckled . Aro looked shok but merely shook his head " Yes it is I want you to check up on them … actually I want you to make sure that they are not exposing our secret . But don´t tell them you were sent . You will merely observe but try not to interact to much . Then be sure to report to us . Then we will work from there , your are leaving in an hour make sure to not call attention to yourself while you are in Forks you will be attending highschool and live in you parents old home alone everything is taken care of money etc . Demitri will update you with their powers and everything you will have to know for this mission, and Matthew will be your right hand for all the "dirty " work. Now go run along now ."


	2. Chapter 2

„Please tell me there is a way for me to get out of this mess. "

Demitri just looked at me like I suddenly had an extra eye or I said something of sort of wanting to give up „everything" move downtown and become a clown , but hey with all that make-up somebody wouldn't recognize me .

„ Bella we have been through this plenty of times you might be some kind of pet for Aro and Marcus, and yes they do cut you a some slack but once you are one of us that's it you are one of us .I mean come on just because Eleazer was able to leave because he found his mate and true love jada jad jada.... doesn't mean that you can just say ciao and leave ..."

Then he smirked and leaned to my ear so nobody else would hear and said „ plus what would poor Felix do if he didn't have anyone to torture ... you can't count Gianna she is... you know she is a bit slooohohoow „ he drew out the word throwing in a few extra syllables.

He chuckled clearly pleased with him self for being such a comedian.

I looked around the airport; allot of people some crying some eagerly waiting for their loved ones to arrive. That's when a scene caught my eye a little girl standing in the middle of the airport looking a bit lost, that's when she started to cry clinging to the teddy bear she was holding. All the people didn't acknowledge here just passed by without throwing her a glance .Before I could get up and soothe her Demitri shook me making me snap out of my staring.

„ Are you even listening? "He exclaimed. I ignored him „ Do see that little girl crying over there … you don't think somebody forgot her do you? " I started to panic why would someone even think of dumping a child in the middle of nowhere making her feel lost and helpless, what was wrong with people.

„What the devil are you talking about there is no kid, mind you those little monsters make me want to scream .Every time they talk it's like fingernails against a chalkboard.

„ You are heartless and unsentimental „ I snapped turning back to look at the girl only to realize she was gone.

„ Okay , I am really enjoying this little snipe fest but I hate to stop because you know I have better things to do than help you with you mission Impossible. Now there are seven of them one is a mind reader but Aro says he won't be able to read you, and I second that. There is a female and her name is Alice and she can predict the future but she won't see you coming from what I know she only sees thing that affects her but even then her premonitions can be elusive. Then there is the empathy you better be careful young lady and not let him feel your guilt it'll ruin everything. Then there is some other guy he is like „super bear"from what I've heard extremely powerful but my guesses are he won't be very „ smart"... god doesn't give with both hands." he chuckled and I rolled my eyes seriously this guy needs a new sense of humour because this is just plain ridiculous." anyway their leader is a doctor so I guess you will be getting to know him really well , shouldn't ya ?" he winked , I glared at him . Seriously vampires are such – I don't even know what to call those monsters that killed my parents and robbed my sanity, can't believe I am going to be one of them in 2 years, oh the joy.

„ What about the rest of them? "

„ Trust me they won't be a problem"

„What if there is? Oh shit what if I really mess up maybe I shouldn't do this"grasping at straws ,desperate to get out of this mess.

„What can I say shit happens see ya Ace. "And with that he was gone. Great just great, I thought sarcastically, now what do me do if I don't pay attention I'll end up as a vampire snack.

A few stumbles, blushes and inappropriate flipping off from teenage boys, who had seemed to have lost several IQ points from slamming their head on the headboard on to many times, I got through the exit somehow managing to carry two suitcases and a purse without making a complete fool out of myself did I notice that nobody absolutely nobody had told me to get from place A to place B. That's when I noticed a sleek black porch with "Ace "written on the side of it. Demitri is gonna be so busted once I am superman instead of the damsel in distress. And of course he had left a key.

Finding the House was no problem It hasn´t changed at all over the years Demitri had told me that the volturi made sure that I was the only one to set foot in the house in over 4 years. After sitting in the car for several hours dwelling on the fact that I am supposed to not only stalk and spy on a family but also live in my murdered parent's house. Things just couldn't get worse until I realized that I was going to have to go to school and _socialize._ Me being a klutz and all wouldn't want to go to school and have everyone gape and whisper just because she is new.

Subconsciously while thinking of these horrible aspects of my so called life I had opened the door and walked up to the front door of the house I hadn't noticed until I was right smack in front of the door.

_Well here goes nothing._

I turned the key and swung the door open.

"I was wondering when you finally showed up. How are you holding up darling?"Devastated I turned around only too see two crimson red eyes boring into mine. All I could think of was

_Run…_


	3. Intruder

„So tell me .. how are you doing ? This has to be just awful being here "

"Stop it "I interrupted but my intruder just kept on going.

"Being here in your House... oh no wait not really your house but the house of your mommy and"

"Shut up "

"And your daddy. Well I do not know if its appropriate but they did taste quite yummy ."

" What do you want Matthew " I whimpered " what did I ever do to you stop just stop it .. I can't take it ."

" Why should I stop " he said while silently walking out of the shadows" what's in it for me .. sweetheart "

" I euh.. you better stop or .."

" Or what " he said smirking "nobody is here to save you from ..well me. So tell me what is going to stop me from torturing you a bit more then verbal insults …mhmmm" I leaned in and sniffed me " you smell so eatable … like freesias and oh dear lord " he exclaimed while picking up a strand of my hair making me hyperventilate , but certainly not in a good way " that strawberry shampoo …so mouth-watering. I have to tell you Isabella you a delicious woman you smell better every year."

I couldn't do this it's just to much one harassing vampire too many . All I wanted to do is die or evaporate right then and there making Matthew sniff dust bunnies .He still had his hand in my hair but slowly he started to move his hand to my neck strocking it gently , but creeping me out major .

" Isabella.. I just can't figure out why we can't be .. well let's call it friends?"

Now moving his fingers to my hair and pull my face closer to his

" I think it is that you can't remember my name and oh my it could be that you killed my parents and oh yeah.. you are a monster !"

" Well i think you like me .. you just don't know how to say it "

" I hate to break it to but I´m sadly not attracted to you you obnoxious ,stupid and moronic … arse"

He went rigid and before I knew it he had me smashed against the front door , now closed .And tightened his grip an my back neck making me gasp .

"watch you mouth . You can consider yourself lucky that you are still alive you little ungrateful brat "

" ungrateful?? You are calling me ungrateful? You guys ruined my life and now I am ungrateful ."

" yes exactly so if I were you I would shut your pretty mouth and get to bed"

" so this is why you came here to insult and degrade me. Well mission accomplished asshole "

" I came to tell you that if you need someone to .. take care of loose endsor need someone to tuck you in you can call me "

" you know what you can just bite me "

" oh believe me it would be my pleasure, as you know I can resist anything except temptation , namely yours . But if you don´t mind " he says licking yes licking my neck " i´d rather just do this . "

"Get your ruddy hands OFF of **ME "**I shrieked trying unsuccessfully too push him away.

"You'll see ill break your willpower like a candycane ... sweethear**t" **he whispered threateningly.

And with that he was gone leaving me crumpeled on the floor crying myself to dreamless sleep.

Alice POV

A vision hit me so suddenly it made me slump angainst jasper .

"_Edward believe me I never wanted to hurt you never not you or your family . I I I love you " The brunette stood there sobbing looking up and Edward with a crushed my brother just stood there not looking at her ." Edward .. please .. say something… anything please"she chocked ._

" _I don´t know what to say to you , you lied to me everything you said to me was a lie bella ."_

"_Edward I didn´t have a choice you have to believe me .What happened to Esme .. i´m so sorry" she said falling to his knees shamefully looking to the ground covered in snow._

" _bella i.. loved you and you…. Just I don´t know what to say I have to think aboput this "_

And with that everything was gone .With my dear brother looking at me taken aback. " Alice who was that and what happened " he stutterd wich was so un- Edward of him.

_I don´t know Edward but I think something is coming for us .. something dangerous ._

"What does this mean?"

_I don´t know._


	4. Forks High school

Forks High School, oh boy could this get any more terrible. Hormonal-driven teenagers , bored desperate teachers and lectures that couldn't tell me know than I already know .

I sat in my car waiting for an invitation , while the shabby school grounds filled with students , some gaping at my car others frowning and stalking of towards the front doors.

I heard jeering and laughing I shut my eyes trying to tune them out . Sighing heavily I went opened my door and looked around .

_Now where in god's name is the secretary office?_

" Hey can I help you , you seem lost " one chipper voice behind me said. I turned around and saw a blond and eager looking guy.

" Hey you are new here aren´t you . "

" Yes I am ."

" well I just knew that . I certainly would have noticed **you "**

"Ohoho lucky me " I said .

_Help help suffocating from an overeager golden retriever._

" So you must need some help " I raised my eyebrow at him " euh not that you look needy I mean you don't just a little lost . Not that you are incapable of doing this on you on . I just wanna help , but you don't have to accept I mean no life is depending on you answere. "he stuttered.

" Listen ,. I actually do need your help where is the secretary office I really have to get my… stuff."

"oh yeah no problem come on " he laughed shakily . The whole way to the office he was talking about an mile a minute . He didn't even mind that I simply stopped nodding occasionally , he just kept on going and going.

He nicely opened my door for me . The room was little nad disorganized a middle aged lady sat at the front desk not looking at us .

_How rude _

" Ms cope " mike said.

" An Neston what can I help you with now " she said exhausted still not looking up.

" Newton ?" I said snickering .

" o yeah I forgot my manners I am mike Newton ." he said holding out his hand ." and you must be the lovely Isabella swan ."

" Oh euhm I prefer Bella actually ."

He smiled still holding my hand .

I looked pointedly at out entwined hands _Get your paws off of mee _

I chanted in my head

"I am going to need that back there "

"pity " he said smiling.

I put on a fake smile seeing ms cope looking at me strangly .

" Hello I am Bella swan I am the new student here."

" I had no idea . Here is your locker number a map of the school the school rules and the slip that has to be signed by every teacher . Do you have any questions ?"

" Not at the moment "

" If you do.."

The bell rang Ms cope looked at mike and told him to get to class." See ya Mary "

" What " but he was already out the door. And Ms Cope muttered something like _finally. I _snickered , I am starting to like her.

" So here are your classes . She looked at the paper before looking at me " Your first class is English with Mister Winter. Hurry up now . Don't worry about being lat he wont mind but don't forget the signature."

"Oh I wont I said smiling"

Did she think I'm a friggen moron?

He did mind though.

" Miss Swan we are so honoured that you are blessing us with your precense " he sneered. He was a small fat guy with a characteristic , white beard .

" I'm sorry .I'll just sit now " I said sliding behind one bench next to a brown haired girl who smiled at me knowingly.

" Oh I hope it won't bother you but class has already begun but we could start from the beginning" he said sarcastically. Everybody turned around and stared at me , I blushed and mumbled some lame apology. The teacher just smirked and went back to his lecture.

_Oh please Shoot me now. _

After class some girl named Jess helped me out with my classes . In no less than a minute she had introduced me to half of the student body ,making me feel overwhelmed remembering all the names.

She was really chipper and.. talkative , I mean it's not a negative attribute but she just couldn't stop though.

" I mean can you believe it jeans jackets are out how is that even possible .I mean I open the magazine and there it was . Isn't this horrible …who decides these things I certainly didn't get a memo."

" That muss suck "

" Totally . I feel so helpless."

" euh yeah."Unsure what to respond .

She grabbed my wrist and turned me so I could face her . " Hey would you like to sit with us ? I mean I bet you could really use some friends , and the group won't mind we'll just squeeze together"

"yeah ..sure " I said . Is "in" stuff all girls talked about ?

"That's just fabulous! Come on" , she dragged me to the lunch line , she didn't seem to notice me stumbling. I eyes glanced the room ,and saw a lot of eyes focused on me

"Jess they aren´t staring at me are they?"

"who " she said looking around the room her eyes narrowing threateningly , daring anybody to ignore her .

" The cafeteria people ?"

She looked me up and down , finally she said " you are imaginging things . Come on i´m starving haven't eaten anything its this new diet I tried ……" There she goes again .

I took my tray of sad looking risotto and followed jessica to a large table , with five or so people . I recognized Newton under one of them and he waved , like he was directing something big .

Jessica looked at me and then back at mike , glaring at me before she noticed I was watching her and plastered a big , fake smile .

" Come on sit . Lauren look " "What " a blond girl answered in a nasal voice, studying her nails not looking up though.

" Well look " Jessica said " If I would want to I would have therefore you have to tell me what I have missed ."" We have a new classmate "

" Oh how nice " she said disdainfully.

There was a loud crash .And I looked around. Seeing them.

Five incredibly beautiful Faces were staring at me wide eyed, shocked.

_Oh OH _

* * *

**_yES SO this is another chapter sry i didn´t have a chance to update i was sick and.... you don´t really care do you .. so _**

**_anyway please read and review :)_**


	5. Kill me now

There they were staring a girl with short black hair scrutinized me from head to toe like she was in the mall wondering whether to buy that cute top she had been searching for months or not.

The others of them resumed their seats at their isolated table. Except for the 'pixie 'and …

That's when I saw him. I never believed such beauty was possible but that was before I saw him.

Bronze hair that was practically calling out for me to run my fingers through it. His face impeccable, strong jaw, prominent cheekbones, perfect eyebrows.

And oh... those eyes. They were orbs of caramel, I got lost in them.

He had an eyebrow raised while I was ogling. Then frowned shook his head and went to 'their' table dragging his sister with him who was still looking at me.

„Weirdoes"Lauren scoffed, looking up from her nails. "Such freaks, well except for sex-ed"

„Typical „ Jessica added.

_This is typical behaviour? That is not good aro __won't be pleased…. Wait but aren't they monsters also? Of them are, why should they be any different? Why do I care what would happen to them?_

"But I can't help but imagine that guy putting his freak on me "Jessica mused.

_Oh dear lord… _

"Who are you talking a bout?"

"Edward. 6 foot 2 and feisty and unbelievable gorgeous. Smart, charming and oh god when he walks I swear I hear angels sing hallelujah." she swooned.

"Forget it izzy there is a waiting list if he would ever decide to date. "She glared. "And honey …. You ain't makin' the cut "

"Leave Mary alone Laura." a boy piped in. he leaned over the table and introduced himself as Tyler.

"The name is Bella "I pressed.

"Sure sure "he smirked and nudged the boy next to him who seemed to be suffering from acne.

"And this bloke is Eric. "

"Yorkie. Eric yorkie "

_Bond. James__ bond _ I mocked.

"It's nice to meet you yorkie I guess the world wasn't enough`? Had to settle for forks? "I joked

"Huh?" he said

"…. It was a humorous comment sometimes called a joke?"  
He looked at me for a while trying to solve the enigma of the joke.

"Oh "he exclaimed. " I get it "he chuckled "that was funny "

_Sure it was._

"Huh yeah "

"So Bella "Tyler quipped "see any cute guys "

Lauren looked up.

_Oh_

"Euhm well "I stammerd. _Why am I so intimidated I grew up with bloodthirsty vampires for god's sake._

" yeah did you izzy?" laurend glared.

_It´s bella you witch_

" Nuh , I don't date much anyway "

Lauren smirked and put her arm possessively over Tyler .he shrugged her off and leaned forward to me.

"Are you sure … Mary?"

Lauren scoffed stood up, flicked her hair and stormed off. "What are you waiting for Jessica? Traffic?"

Jessica stood up and ran after Lauren like a lost puppy.

A girl with geeky glasses and dark hair scooted down the bench next to me."Hey i'm Angela. don't worry about those to they can't handle competition." she winked .

"What competition?"

"Well haven't you noticed the guys calling you "Mary"? It's calling you the new 'it' girl. Consider yourself flattered "

"What does Mary have to do with anything?"

Angela giggled "They think you look like a goodie-goodie"

I blushed. And looked over to Tyler and mike who seemed to be discussing an important matter.

"That can't be it, Angela "I stammered.

" whatever " she rolled her eyes " what is your next class?"

" euhm biology " ".me too come on let's go " she smiled. I decided I liked angela she was nice .

I looked back to the Cullen table it was vacant. I sighed this wasn't going to be easy.

"Hey Angela, wait up "a smaller looking boy called.

"Oh hey "she blushed. " Bella this is Ben. Ben this is Bella, she is... was the chief's daughter. You know Charlie swan?"

"Oh yeah, of course "he smiled and shook my hand. "How are you doing "

"Just fine "I smiled

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The biology room was packed except for one bench in far back of the classroom , with two vacant seats .

_Oh joy I get to sit all by my lonesome ._

I walked up to the front of the classroom where ,there stood a middle aged man with thic glasses and a frown , while looking through his notes.

"Mr. banner?"

"yes " he said looking up .

" I´m the transfer student from the italy , i´m supposed to have this slip signed by you ."

" oh oh yes of course " he then looked past me and barked " mr. cullen"

_Don´t turn around . Don´t look . Breathe in _breathe out .

He looked at his watch and stated " You are late "

." yes sir , sorry sir I got held up ."his  voice said.

I forgot how to breathe.

"Just don´t make it a habit " he sighed " take a seat."

" Thank you sir."

He then turned to me . " miss.."

" swan "

" yes miss swan hand me the paper will you or I will have to make you stand before the class and introduce yourself "

_Oh god no._

He chuckled , " I was kidding sometimes grown-ups make jokes."

" I know that " I stammered " I just thought you were serious , .. I was almost having a heart attack "

" not a public speaker ey " he asked taking the paper.

"No no.. i´d rather repeat junior year . "

" well lucky you I am in a good mood today an won't use that piece of information against

you."

He smiled , he seemed really nice. Signed the paper with a flick of his hand and gave it back to me .

He gestured to the back of the classroom with his pen " you will have to be partners with Cullen . But there won't be a problem since it seems you already were in pre- college classes and Cullen is one of our top students .Well actually_ the_ cullens are top of the that kid is a bit… stiff .

Maybe you could make him loosen up a bit " he winked and then nudged me towards _him._

I walked to the back . Legs shaking and puls racing.

He was looking out of the window frowning .

_What do you know , your face really can freeze that way._

I tentatively sat down , I care fully looked over to him .

He was glaring at me Glaring.

_Oh my god he knows he knows he knows….._

_He can __read my mind he knows , I was sent here to spy on him ._

_Oh no no no no .Aro said he couldn't read my mind , he was wrong so wrong..or was he.._

_Did he sent me here to get rid of me? _

He wasn't even breathing, he was a complete statute . He was looking at me with disdain, hate and ad most loathing.I looked down, his fists were clenched also.

I ´s when I heard it . He was growling. Growling in the middle of the classroom , like some crazed animal .

Somebody cleard his throat. I looked up it was Mr. banner looking questionably at Edward.

" sorry " he flinched when he took a breath. „Digestion . "

I snorted.

_Yeah sure , all that blood must be wrecking havoc with his dead organs._

" is it that bad mr. cullen " banner asked simply ignoring my reaction.

" yes , yes it is" he hissed , flinching yet again.

_What is wrong with he completely mental._

"well how about you go and ask ms cope if she could help you with your problem . Maybe somebody should go with you in caseyou collaps. Miss swan…"

" no " Edward practically shouted at banner." I mean no. It'S FINE. I´ll be fine I just need some fresh air." He turned and almost flew out of the classroom , but not before glaring once more at me.

Mr banner looked startled at me . I merely shrugged at him .

" very well then miss swan you will have to do the first experiment on your one .Maybe you could give mr. cullen your notes when he is back and feeling…better"

I nodded.

He knew and undoubtedly he will tell his family and then of course kill me.I gulped.

_Well at least I won't have to do my assignments ._i thought sarcasticly.


	6. Matthew

I got in my car ,trying to hold bock the sobs. I would not cry. Not over someone like _him._

_He is not worth it .He is not worth it. Don't cry don't cry. Dammit don't cry ._

I turned on the car and backed out slowly out of the parking lot. Not bothering to look over my shoulder if I am going to hit somebody or not. I didn't really care my life was over at it is.

At least I won't have to face Felix , Aro or Caius one more time .If Edward really knew ,why I was really here, I would be dead by dawn at the very latest.

The closer I got to my house the more nervous I got .Would they already be there ?Would they first tell me what a horrible person I am, trying to rip their family apart?Or would they creep from the shadows like lowlife bthey are and kill me quickly and without pain?

Or are they going to ….to .._drink _my blood. I shudder violently, _I wouldn't put it past them._

Turning off the car took ages .My pulse was racing and I was hyper alert ,looking around for signs of them. Silly really ,like I would notice a movement .

I got completely out of the car.

Nothing happened.

I walked to the door and turned around before opening it .

I was still standing .

I opened the door and got quickly inside locked it and threw myself with my back to the wall.

I listened.

No sound ,no movement.

Why ?

_Maybe they will just leave .Leave and never look back__ .maybe-_

A cold , hard hand curled around my upper arm and I was suddenly flying through the room landing in the couch roughly.

_Or maybe they'll just kill me ._

"so what's up with you , you look like the bloody world is out to get you."

I clutched my chest trying to slow down my heart rate .

"I swear Matthew once I get changed …"

" I'll kill youuu" he mimicked my voice in a girly voice ."death "I muttered sitting up." and it's going to be painful." "uhuu I'm soo scared" he mocked." so what has got your panties in a bunch ,darling?"

"you." I spat. " I hate to break it to you . But …I think now that you are older ,I think its time to tell you. I am nauseated by your very presence ."

"Oh I am so touched I think I am going to cry venom ." he paused for dramatic effect ,placing his hand over his heart ."that is the nicest thing you ever said to me ."

" No I actually have reason to be scared you pompous ass "

" Did you run over someone's pet?"

"no. But I think I will be dead soon ."."why" he exclaimed half-laughing.

"because they know." I shouted" they freaking know why I am in this godforsaken town"

"wait " he said , looking worried. " how could they .did you say anything ?"

" are you mental? I am not suicidal."

He ignored me and started pacing through the living room instead ."this can't be happening .They said you were right for the job and now this ."he mumbled." This isn't just about you . They will be here any minute and kill the both of us and you are worried about your promotion to …god knows what." I didn' even see him coming , but suddenly he was right in front of my face growling menacingly .He didn't seem in control ,he was to far gone already.

"Do you know how hard it is _darling"_he said the word like it was a curse ."Do you know how hard it is to smile , when you are nauseous ?To stand there in front of the whole guard and be embarrassed ? I had to stand there while they told me what my job was. _Babysitand ASSIST the human._i GET TO SIT HERE THE WHOLE DAY DOING NOTHING. While the rest of the guard is in volterra ,getting real jobs like luring humans into the castle and fighting of newborns. And speaking of food encase you haven't noticed I am hungry so I think it is in your best interest that you shut up. I want to stand next to Aro as his right hand .I deserved it damm'it .But instead I am stuck here with you. " he put his hands either side of my shoulders trapping me ."If you screw up I will get the blame. And. I .will. not let. That .happen."

Ii couldn't believe this ." Oh so you think this is my fault? The hell it is . I didn't do anything wrong, and you know it. Why don't you just fucking go if you can't handle pressure ."I screeched .He leaned away from me ,taken aback. He seemed lost for a moment.

"okay maybe I overreacted." he said, sitting down next to me . I scooted away from him as far as the couch allowed." so what is your plan ."I gaped at him ,what the hell was wrong with him .How could it be that I just told off one of the most powerful vampires, known to man ,and I am still alive?" excuse me ?" I stuttered. " I said I am sorry " he grunted ."look he said. You don't like me .and I don't like you .But like it or not ,you screw up we are dead .I screw up we are I think for us not to end up dead ,we have to work together "he said looking down at his shoes ,avoiding my gaze. I sat there ,speechless .he finally looked at me , exhausted ."please don't make me repeat that again."I'm not , its just …I never thought you could act.. I dunno human." "Humanity doesn't depend and being human."he sighed. „so what is your plan." I looked away and groaned.

"we do our job"

Matthews' eyes were closed in concentration. I lost count on how long he was looking for the Cullens fears .But the silence made me even more scared. "bella , I can't see their fears if yours are ringing so loud and clear they are practically clouding my mind."

Matthews power was similar to Edwards'.He could feel , and see peoples or vampires deepest fear and turn it against he had to do is look at them and he would know what it that wasn't the only thing he could do. He could make their angst become reality . In most cases it was fear of dying, he just had to look at them and make them feel their dread. And they would just dye right then and there with no real cause of he could just make them feel death ,and litarly scare them to death.

"sorry. I will try to block them " I whispered .I put up my shield hoping it was enough to shield my terror ."ah " he sighed much better. We kept sitting there .after a while he frowned. "hmm their worst fear is that.. whats his name ..ah Edward won't come are not anticipating ..well us ." he finally opened his eyes focusing them on me. " they don't know the real reason you are here." He finished.

"but but ..How can that be . he looked at me like… like he knewew"I stammered." well I don't know why but it doesn't mean that he knows . There must be something we are missing ."

"like what" I wondered. "I don't know .But whatever it is it made him leave town."

He chuckled. "you bring out the worst of us don't you " he ruffled my hair.

I scowled , but I also felt rejected._But why_ .Wouldn't him leaving town make my job so much easier ? maybe it was better that he left town.

_Maybe if edward stays away he won't get hurt.I would never forgive myself if my Edward would get hurt because of me ._

_Woha _my _Edward ?where did that come from?_


End file.
